Marriage: Growing Up

“We should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine … but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head – Christ.” – Ephesians 4:14-15 (NKJV)

bride and groom men women romance loveWhen I noticed the strong off-screen chemistry between two actors I admire, I hoped and prayed they would marry one day. But after watching a few interviews, I realized that the man is an overgrown child. Not only does he not love his co-star, he isn’t able to give her a home and family either. The adult actor doesn’t have the emotional maturity to sustain a marriage with anyone. When it’s time to start a family of his own, this young man still wants to play. I keep praying he grows up.

Too many men today are just like this actor. They’re surrounded by young, healthy women who want a family of their own. These women are ready to become wives and mothers, but the men in their lives are still boys emotionally. They aren’t willing or able to be husbands and fathers who protect, provide for, and pray for their families. So, the women stay single. Some people become adults through life experiences. Others need Jesus Christ in order to grow up and take adult responsibility. Generally though, yesterday’s men were adults at age 20. Now, men don’t become adults until they’re 30 or 40. This situation is tragic.

internet pornographyImmature adulthood is one thing. Adult entertainment is another. It’s ironic that the fornication practiced today is even called “adult.” The sexual fantasies promised by pornography are anything but adult in nature, both emotionally and morally. All sexual immorality is the fruit of immaturity. Children live in a fantasy world. Adults live in the real world. This is why only adults can sustain marriages. Regardless of what our culture says, God calls few people to singlehood. He leads most to marry. Christians who want to remain single might be avoiding marriage due to emotional immaturity.

jesus christ bridegroom bride rapture churchIf we bring our attitudes toward marriage into our relationship with Jesus, then we’re in trouble. Jesus doesn’t have a child bride. The corporate church he’s returning for will be an adult spiritually.

  • Children are envious and selfish. Adults humbly glorify God. (1 Corinthians 3:3-9)
  • Children are easily deceived. Adults speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:14-15)
  • Children need teachers. Adults are teachers. (Hebrews 5:12)
  • Children are unskilled in the Word. Adults are discerning. (5:14)

Spiritually, we must believe like children (Matthew 18:3-4). Mentally and emotionally, however, we must act like adults (1 Corinthians 14:20). So let’s stop drinking milk and start eating meat (3:1-2, Hebrews 5:12-14). We need to grow up.


5 thoughts on “Marriage: Growing Up

  1. Hey! Thanks for that post – it’s good to have someone who’s blunt about the way things are and where we are failing as Christians. I’d never thought of pornography as childish, but it is – it’s about getting sucked into fantasies instead of reality.

    A question though: What are some practical ways that we can be “growing up” into mature adult Christians? I’d assume reading the bible and prayer are essential, and also looking outside of ourselves to the needs of others, but are there other things we can all be doing?

    Thanks again, and God Bless!

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