When a Man Loves a Woman

“‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:23-24 (NKJV)

adam eve edenMarital and working relationships between men and women were perfect in Eden. Sin ruined them. As a result, some Christian men love to talk about Eve’s daughters wanting to control their husbands (Genesis 3:16). Then they insist that their wives submit to and respect them (Ephesians 5:22, 33). Such men avoid the harsh reality of Adam’s sons imperfectly ruling over their wives (Genesis 3:16). They also forget to love them (Ephesians 5:25).

When a man loves a woman, he nourishes and cherishes her (1 Corinthians 7:3, Ephesians 5:28-29). He loves his children too, the fruit of her body. Such a husband doesn’t abuse his wife – physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Nor does he lord his authority over her. A loving husband helps his wife grow in Christian maturity and wisdom instead. He wants to see her succeed in every godly thing she pursues – at home, church, and work.

bride and groom men women romance loveWhere are these godly men today? Where are the husbands who truly love their wives? Christianity is supposed to be an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, created through conversion. Christian men are supposed to love their wives as Jesus loves his bride, the church (Ephesians 5:25). The ungodly, sinful world that we live in knows nothing about this divine relationship. So why are so-called Christian men abusing their wives and girlfriends or thwarting their success?

Some husbands refuse to let their wives work outside the home, ignoring their God-given talents and skills. Others insist that all women remain silent in church (1 Timothy 2:11-12). They let them sing, play instruments, and teach Sunday school or a women’s Bible study, but that’s it. Such men don’t allow women to teach men or preach. Maybe they feel that their manhood is threatened. But this isn’t biblical or right. It’s an ungodly spirit of control.

“There is neither male nor female” in Christ (Galatians 3:28). We are “one body and one Spirit” (Ephesians 4:4). The Holy Spirit works differently in people. He produces apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers in order to equip the church and edify the body of Christ (4:11-12). The Spirit still doesn’t distinguish between men and women or draw gender lines. Miriam and Hannah prophesied (Exodus 15:20, 1 Samuel 2:1-10). So did Philip’s four daughters (Acts 21:9). The apostle Paul expected women to pray and prophesy in church (1 Corinthians 11:5).

temple veilUnder Mosaic Law, only Aaron’s descendants – men aged 25 to 50 – could serve God in the tabernacle and temple (Numbers 8:24-25). Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross did away with all that (Matthew 27:51). We’re a holy priesthood now (1 Peter 2:5, 9). Because the veil was torn and we don’t need a physical temple, anyone can enter in – men and women, children and adults (Hebrews 10:19-22). This means that anyone, anywhere and at any time, can pray to and serve God. But too many men limit women’s divine access to the home. They like to draw gender lines at church.

An ungodly spirit of control always leads to abuse. Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE) visited Bob Jones UniversityPatrick Henry College, and Pensacola Christian College in order to address sexual abuse on their campuses. [PHC denied all accusations but Homeschoolers Anonymous and Kathryn Elizabeth upheld them.] Paul said that sexual immorality must “not even be named” among Christians (Ephesians 5:3). That GRACE exists and has visited “Christian” churches, schools, and camps is a disgrace.

Too many men today insist that women respect them. When will they learn to love and respect women – as wives, mothers, and fellow workers in the Lord? No wonder so many women reject men and turn from their God today! They can’t find godly men who really love them.

The day is coming that “the kingdom of God will be taken from” the visible church “and given to a nation bearing the fruits of it” (Matthew 21:43). I pray that before Jesus returns for his bride, he shows churched unbelievers what a loving Christian marriage actually looks like.

UPDATE: Read my blog post “Men Don’t Leave.”


4 thoughts on “When a Man Loves a Woman

  1. Hmmmm.

    I most definitely agree that men need to love their wives and cherish them spiritually. And I entirely agree that women have God-given talents as much as men. They are in no way inferior to men.

    BUT. What do you do with 1 Timothy 2:12?
    “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” Also, whenever pastors are talked about in the bible they are men, and the godly woman of Proverbs 31 didn’t teach other men. (Just to give a quick overview of a few passages)

    This is an issue I’m still working to understand. I want to know what the bible says about it, what God wants – not what I think is right, because I’m sinful.

    Men can love their wives and cherish them without them teaching men in church. It isn’t a matter of equality, it;s a matter of what God tells us his will is – women can be equal and yet have a different role. Like Jesus and God the Father. Jesus is God, he is equal to God the Father. Yet he submits to God the father 100%. He is God. Yet in his role he submits. Women can be equal to men and yet submit to them.
    And men can be equal to women and lead them. I know it doesn’t always work like that. A lot of the time men abuse that. And to be honest a lot of the time women do too. We’re all sinners, saved by grace alone.

    Take a look at these – much clearer then my explanation.

    I know you’ll disagree with me on this. That’s ok. But what does the bible say? Maybe I’m wrong – Show me from the bible.

    Thanks for that!

    • Have you read commentaries on that passage or learned what each word means? I haven’t. Until I do, I can’t give an educated reply.

      • I have read quite a bit on it, but there are lots of different opinions. Apparently the word for “authority” isn’t used elsewhere in the bible, so theres a lot of debate over that. The word “silent” apparently is better translated “quiet”, but from what I understand that words for Paul not letting a woman teach are pretty clear.

        But I would have to do more research into the words myself to verify what I’ve said above – this is just going off what i’ve heard from others who’ve done the work.

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